Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas to everyone! I hope everyone had a fantastic Christmas!

This year I received some awesome gifts (although not all will be in this post, because some are at home and some are at the apartment) buuuuut, here are some that I have with me right now...


An awesome how-to book on vintage tea parties. It also has a ton of really yummy looking recipes! Super looking forward to this. 

The Mighty Boosh complete series!!! I am really excited about this. I am hoping Justin doesn't regret this purchase, haha!

 

A Belgian waffle maker!Om nom nom nom.

And then the biggest gift of all! Justin proposed to me!!! (I know this isn't news to anyone reading this blog, because I told you first (Erin, Chelsea, Mom and Justin) buuuuut, I still was excited to post pictures. (from my new camera!!)

Coconut Lime Soup

I don't cook very much, and I want to learn more. Tonight I am feeling pretty proud. For those who cook, this is probably a really wimpy thing to be proud of, buuuut I picked out 3 potential recipes to make tonight and I went with the most intimidating! Coconut lime noodle soup!

I was going to surprise Justin by having it ready when he walked in the door from work. He gets home at 5:45 and I started at like 4, so instead of soup, he mostly got pasta because there was basically no liquid left, haha! But it was still tasty.

Coconut Lime Noodle Soup Recipe

 Serves 4 | Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes

Ingredients:
32 ounces low sodium chicken broth
2 inches piece ginger, cut into 1/4 inch thick
1 can 13.5 ounces coconut milk
1 pound boneless, skinless chicken breast, thinly sliced
8 medium-sized shrimp, shelled and deveined
3 tablespoons fish sauce or salt to taste
2 teaspoons light brown sugar or regular sugar
4 Thai chilies, stems off
6 tablespoons fresh lime juice, (approximately 3-4 limes)
2 cups bean sprouts (optional) <(blech! no bean sprouts for me!)
3/4 pound fresh thick rice noodle
3/4 cup packed fresh cilantro leaves

Method:
Prepare the chicken broth in a large pot. Add in the ginger and boil the chicken broth on high heat.
Turn the heat to medium and simmer for 10 minutes.
Add the coconut milk and return to simmer. Transfer the sliced chicken and shrimps into the chicken broth and let it cook through, approximately 3 minutes.
Slowly stir in the fish sauce and sugar. Then add the Thai chilies, lime juice, bean sprouts and 1/2 cup fresh cilantro leaves. Stir in the fresh rice noodle and serve immediately.
Garnish the noodle with the remaining 1/4 cup of fresh cilantro leaves.

Goals Update

Okay, so I had listed my goals awhile ago and decided to periodically update them every month or so. Well, the last time I did was July 10th. Time to refocus!

1. Exercise more! Not doing so great. In fact, not doing anything. I want to follow this schedule:

Run at least 3 times a week. At first this will probably be run at least once a week, jog/walk at least twice a week. Then I can work up to running.
Strength training at least twice a week.
Bike/Spin at least once a week.
Hike once a week, if trails permit.

Or attend the free classes on campus. Cycling, AquaFit, Hatha Yoga, Total Strength, BOSU Blast are the classes listed on the schedule. Without going to school, I could hopefully change my work schedule around these classes.

I have gained more weight since posting my goals. I need to change.

2. Eat better! Last update I was doing well. I said I was  packing lunches for work and using myfitnesspal, ( a calorie counter website). But I haven't been doing either of those lately. In fact I have been eating pretty crappy lately. This also needs to change. I started using myfitnespal again yesterday. I wanted McDonald's breakfast this morning, (mmm, salty biscuits) but instead chose to have Grape Nuts with blueberries. It is difficult to eat better with all of the holiday parties (8 this year), but I think the New Year will be a nice fresh start and I can try now too.

3. Cook! Uh. About the same as usual. Cooking a little bit I suppose. But not enough. I'm hoping I'll have more time now that I'm out of school.

4. Spend less! Despite the holidays and probably the most amount of money I have ever spent on Christmas, I am overall spending less. Or maybe just spending more deliberately. Either way, I've been doing better on this...mostly.

5. Sew/Crochet! Uh, nope. This isn't really a top priority, but it would be nice to use some of the piles and piles of fabric I own.

6. Clean & Organize! Good news: I cleaned and organized the guest room and sewing room. Bad news: Now all that stuff is in my room. I'll need to clean it over the Christmas break.

7. Treehouse! Last post said: "It is way too hot to work out there."  Hah! Now it is way too cold!

8. Garden! Well. It's a bit late for this. Next spring, hopefully?

9. Reading! I finished the Harry Potter series. Now I'm going to read A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

10. Logic puzzles! I haven't made any. I should start that up again.

11. Document Life! I lost my camera in the San Diego Zoo. :( Until I get a new one this is on hold. 

12. Communication! I feel I have excelled the most here. Still difficult, but I definitely address issues sooner. I am quite proud of my progress.


NOTE: I think for the New Year I will mostly focus on items 1-4, 9 and 12.

Life is Good

Finals are over. I graduated. Christmas shopping is (almost) done, and Christmas is a week away. Life is good.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

Utah

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Crunch time.

I need more sleep and more hugs and less stress and less obligations. edit: and more money!!!

Changes

Lately I have been thinking about my future and am feeling a lot of mixed feelings. I am realizing that there are going to be changes that aren't bad, but just difficult.

I often feel very torn between my significant other and my family, (mostly my mom). And although my mom is super good at letting me know that Justin is my priority and that she is grown-up and can be home alone and it doesn't matter, etc, but it DOES matter to me, and it worries me. I know that I wouldn't want to be home alone all the time. Especially when these days are getting shorter and shorter.

I think what makes it worse is a strange sort of guilt for leaving my mom when my dad is gone so much. I wouldn't feel nearly as conflicted if I knew that she had someone to keep her company. But just that no one deserves to be home alone in a dark house night after night. No one deserves to be miserable as the result of their spouse's career. I know what it's like to be left home alone. It's okay at first, but after awhile, and especially when it gets dark, you can start to mentally/emotionally spiral downwards. I'm not saying this happens with my mom, but I know for certain it happens with me.

I know that Justin is my priority, that isn't the issue at all. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. The difficulty is the transition from spending a lot of time with my Mom and now realizing that that isn't going to be true in the future. And I know that it isn't like I will never see my mom again, but it won't be like it is now, and now is even a lot less than usual. I know it's natural. I know it is inevitable. It is just different.

I think that for me, especially, I rely on mom a lot. For advice on anything, for someone to listen to me and to talk to me, for someone to hang out with and to go shopping with, for someone that completely understands me and loves me unconditionally. I know that Justin does all those things, but my mom is my mom! You know? Just like my soul mate is my soul mate. People in my life can't replace each other, and that is how it should be. But my point is that it is hard to have things change. But I also know that I can't be torn forever.

There are good changes, like that me and Justin will make our own traditions. But that means that we will somewhat give up our old family traditions. Not entirely, but things won't be the same. And I feel a loss of my childhood and the connection of my family that is as a daughter and a sister. Now I am forming a new connection, that will be of a wife and (eventually) a mother. It is exciting and natural, but also comes with a different perspective. I know I'm still a daughter and sister but it isn't my primary role. And that isn't a bad thing. Just different.

And it isn't like I thought this would never happen. I know that this is what that whole growing up and falling in love and getting married and moving away thing does. And that's okay. It just makes me have very mixed feelings. Feelings of excitement and love and purpose for my life with my to-be husband, and at the same time a strange sort of  loss.

Happy

First I did my focus group, had an epiphany that what I'm doing is exactly the kind of work I want to be doing, then I went to my honey's place and he surprised me with flowers, homemade pad thai and brownies, and theeeeen Obama won! Then today I slept in, and now class and work went by super fast! Ahhh, what a lovely couple of days I've had!

Edit: And now today, Justin pre-ordered midnight tickets to see The Hobbit! Also, I'm about to eat left over Extreme Veggie pizza from the pie and a Ghirardelli double chocolate brownie! MMMM! :)

School Deadlines

I am stuck. I feel unmotivated. I feel inadequate. I feel like I can't do this. I just want to graduate and never, ever, ever have another deadline again in my entire life. I hate this.

I just want to go to travel and never have to worry about time or money ever again. Not how life works. :(

Emma & Andrew

I thought this was pretty cool. I like Emma & Andrew.

Facebook & Politics

I recently posted a grumpy post about how much I hate politics and facebook. What I hate MORE about politics and facebook, is when completely uninformed sheeple decide to speak up, which when it comes to uninformed and sheeple, that happens like 100% of the time.

-cough-

So, since I decided to not stir up the pot of raging republicans on my friend Chelsea's post, I'll just post my response here. First, a little review: (sorry for the different sizes. I uploaded the whole thing but it viewed too small, so I cut it up enough to view everything. You can click on them to view them full-size)

I decided to black out their names, since if someone I didn't know screencapped a fb conversation I had and posted it on their blog, I'd want my name blacked out too.

 First off, I think the Tyson person is pretty reasonable and open-minded. While he isn't for universal health-care, he does seem to genuinely want an answer to his questions.

The Aric person is great. His first response was perfect.

I have quite a few responses to Brent, some which I actually typed, then backspaced, then decided to just post on here.

1. It is ironic that someone who is physically incapable of having a child (aka, a male) is saying that birth control is not a right. Furthermore, you'll never get the entire world to practice abstinence. So why not make it a better place by a) reducing the population and conserving resources, through birth control. b)(you might not understand this, because you're a white middle class male, living in a world of the mainly white middle class) give a woman the right to decide when and how many children she wants, without having to have a certain income to afford it. Newsflash, everyone isn't part of the middle class. Sure, you think birth control "isn't' that expensive" BUT YOU AREN'T IMPOVERISHED YOU IDIOT.

2. It is also ironic that someone who (most likely, just guessing) periodically pools a fraction of their resources(money)for a bigger organization and for people other than themselves, doesn't see the connection between mormonism and socialism. What the hell do you think tithing is?

3. Go wikipedia "socialism". Note how it isn't spelled C-O-M-M-U-N-I-S-M? I am not sure you even know what socialism really is...Or communism, for that matter.

Finally, http://www.theatlantic.com/international/archive/2012/06/heres-a-map-of-the-countries-that-provide-universal-health-care-americas-still-not-on-it/259153

I have a butt load more responses, but I look forward to hearing yours (my readers).

Happy Halloween!

Click to enlarge.

Lists!

I love making lists. I make them all the time. In fact, I waste more paper than I like to admit making lists (but I recycle!). Today I want to make several lists.

Things I Miss:
1. Going to my Grandma & Grandpa Moulding's house. I miss the smell and coziness of their house and I really wish that I knew my grandparents as an adult instead of as a bratty teenager.
2. Kitty, Moochy, Romeo. My fuzzy friends.
3. A different kind of miss-I miss my cousin Taylor and my uncle Mike. They just live out of state so I don't see them much anymore.
4. Disney World. I want butternut squash soup on a rainy day! I want amazing fireworks! I want to hug Meeko!
5. Oslo. Galicia. Paris. Merida. Kirriemuir.

Things I Love About Winter:
1. Hot apple cider. Hot cocoa. Hot chai lattes. Hot soup. Warm pie. Comfort food, basically.
2. Blankies! I LOVE blankies. In fact if I were to be accused of hording anything, it would be blankies. Can't get enough.
3. Apparel. Scarves, jackets, coats, cardigans, layering, boots, gloves, hats. My wardrobe is much more suited for colder weather.
4. Smells. I love the smell of pine cones, cinnamon, nutmeg, eggnog, ginger, all of the wintery-christmasy smells I really like.
5. Presents. Obviously the biggest thing during winter is Christmas. And I really love thinking up presents to give people. I think for one thing, gift-giving is a way I show love and affection. I want to try to make home-made gifts this year. (haha, although don't hold me to that! I'll probably end up buying things. Afterall, up until Dec.14, I'll be stressing out about my senior project) But I always try to put a lot of thought into gifts.

(Bonus: (I didn't make the bonus a #6 in my list, because I hate not having factors of 5) I also love doing puzzles in the winter! Winter is prime puzzle season. Nothing better than watching your favorite classic holiday movie and working on a puzzle while all bundled up in fuzzy pajamas!)

Things I Want to Do This Weekend:
1. Prepare the Cat Apartment for winter. The same for Annie's kennel.
2. Get ready for the Halloween party at my cousin's house. What to wear? What to be? Hmm! I might go for my crazy cat lady costume again...It isn't much of a stretch, really. I just have to wear more-than-usual frumpy clothes. :D
3. Get ahead on my homework.
4. Clean & Organize my room. Including donating a bunch of stuff to the Woman's home.
5. CHRISTMAS SHOP! Although I might have to wait on this for financial reasons. :( If so, I'll at least try to think up of good presents for everyone!

Things I Look Forward to After Graduation:
1. Obvious things like no homework, no due dates, no academic stress, etc.
2. Exercising! I really want to focus on getting into shape and I think it will be a LOT easier after graduation. I notice that I always exercise a lot more in the spring/summer anyway. And now I'll have no school during spring to worry about!
3. Not eating crappy lunches on campus while sitting at my work desk...actually this might still happen. But at least it isn't because I only have 10 minutes between class and work!
4. With not having school, hopefully I can find another part-time job, or maybe quit my current job and find a full-time job. Having more money sure would be welcome.
5. I don't think it is a secret to all that read my blog (Erin, Kiki, sometimes Mom and Justin?)that I plan to marry. This will probably happen in the spring/summer of next year. :)

One more list!

Recent Entertainment Choices: (dorky title, I know)
1. My obsessive relapse into the world of Harry Potter. Rereading the books. Really enjoyed the first four, of course. But I only read the 5th, 6th and 7th one time, and so it is fun not remembering details and rediscovering the story.
2. Part of that obsessive relapse is having an account on Pottermore.com! It is AWESOME.
3. Watching Doctor Who from the very first episode. We are now on the 10th doctor (my personal favorite). I always thought Martha was my favorite, probably because I started watching when she was the companion, but I really miss Rose now. :(
4. I have slowly been watching Once Upon a Time, as sort of a guilty pleasure. It has taken the place of Merlin (which I finished all that was available on Netflix), Robin Hood, (which ended.), Being Human, (which I haven't actually looked into much since the last season ended...maybe I should.) And Pushing Daisies (which  I realize is the only non-BBC show in that list). You always need a guilty pleasure for a show that has iffy graphics and sometimes poor acting. (actually Being Human and Pushing Daisies is fine. I think Robin Hood and Merlin are aimed at a younger audience so meh)
5. Spotify. Okay. I gave in and I got Spotify. And I'm actually really pleased. The only thing that bugs me is that when I close spotify by pushing the red X in the corner of the screen it doesn't fully close it. I can only fully close it if I do the old File>Close. And I guess the ads are annoying too, but they don't seem to come up as often as Pandora. I like that I have access to all music from a band. So it is much more like an iTunes interface than Pandora. I don't like that I forget that I don't actually own that music. Haha! But I did notice there were quite a few unreleased and B-side tracks on there. That made me happy.


-cough- so. seeing as I wrote all of this at work, I better click 'Publish' and be on my way!

Dumb Day

Cold and sad and cranky and tired and stressed and hungry. Feeling really melancholy today. I just want all social and scholarly obligations to go away. I also want a hot bath, fuzzy socks, stretchy pants, a bowl of hot tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, lots of blankies, the seventh Harry Potter, and everyone to be happy and content and super happy with everything I say and do and feel. I want everyone to stop draining my emotional energy and so I can stop feeling like I can't get things right.

Who I need is Kitty. :'(  Cats always are the best for melancholy days.

Yes, please.

I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed it!

Politics

As I scroll through my facebook feed I see a lot of political posts. Usually anti-Obama, pro-Romney. (Not surprising, as most of the people I know live in Utah, most people in Utah are Mormons, and most Mormons are republican. So, with Romney being both republican AND Mormon, he might as well be a saint, right?)
Don't get me wrong, I don't mind the occasional political thought expressed over facebook. And I don't mind at all when people post something political but are very open to other ideas or really just want people to get along. It is the hateful, pointless, flimsy, holier-than-thou arguing that gets on my nerves the most.

So I'm going to post my hateful, pointless, flimsy, holier-than-thou argument on my blog instead of on facebook!

1. I love Obama. I think he is dignified and carries himself well. I'm not stupid. I know this isn't the only thing that makes a president a good president. But it makes it a helluva lot less embarrassing than when Bush would go on foreign trips and meet ambassadors and presidents of other countries. And hey, if the Norweigiens like him, so do I.

2. Despite popular belief, Obama is NOT socialist. With that said, I don't really see what is so bad about socialism. Would living in Canada really be that bad? Or Norway? Denmark? Sweden? Finland? We're not talking about China or North Korea here. We're talking about some of the most advanced, forward-thinking countries in the world. Did you know that in Norway (and I'm sure other Scandanavian/European countries) it is FREE to attend university? It is FREE to get health care? I'm not sure why people would argue this, unless they have some ridiculous concept that there are some lazy bastards who don't deserve health care because they didn't work for it. They are just living off food stamps and taking advantage of the system and us taxpayers are paying for it. OUR hardwork is going to waste on the lazy, stupid single mothers and scared kids kicked out of the house. It is this individualistic, prideful and selfish side of republicans (at least the republicans that post on my facebook wall) that I can't stand. You aren't better than anyone else, including that single mother using those food stamps or anyone else. Yeah, sure, I'm sure there are people who abuse the system. But does that mean you have to assume everyone does? This concept of "Well I had nothing, but then I worked hard and so I deserve health care and those who didn't pull themselves up by their bootstraps don't." is so maddening to me. Chances are you got lucky. Chances are you weren't born into poverty. REAL poverty. Chances are you probably are white and middle class. So get over yourself. Whatever happened to equity? Isn't that something that is supposed to be an American hallmark?

3. I find it ironic that many of the most hateful crap that I hear usually comes from Christians. If you really believe in the teachings of Christ, why is it that you can't apply charity, empathy, tolerance and love to anyone that is different than you? Gay rights? No, they should burn in hell. Health care to all, not just to those that can afford it? Why? The poor don't deserve it. They wouldn't be poor if they just worked harder. Trying to halt human impact on global warming? Who cares? EVEN THOUGH we believe God created everything, it is at our disposal, so he'll just take care of us and who gives a shit about any other creature on Earth except us? (cough. this one has annoyed me for a very long time.)

4. And going off of that last point-I have plenty of family and friends who are Mormon. So this isn't a Mormon-bashing session. But honestly, if you are voting for a candidate for the sole reason that you share a religion, that isn't a very good reason. And really, I don't think Mitt Romney really represents Mormons very well. For one thing, I think he is excessive, gluttonous and prideful. No one, and I mean NO ONE should need a 10,000 sq. ft house with a car elevator in the garage. That is so extravagant and stupid it sort of makes me sick. And that leads me to my next point!

5. I don't think Mitt Romney has a true grip on what life is like for the average American. Because the average american does NOT make that much money. I'm not saying Obama is poor. But I think he is a little more aware and socially-fluent than Romney. Okay. That is my rant. I obviously am going to vote for Obama. I hate all the bashing. I hate Fox news. I hate any news that's sole purpose is to rile people up, for either side. I hate all of the hate. Just shut up and be reasonable. It isn't the end of the world, America isn't going to collapse under Obama, America isn't going to become Orwell's 1984. Just calma llama down. I think I'm going to start posting subtle things on Facebook. Things like "Man, I wish school was just free." or "Just one little check up at the doctor and I get billed a ridiculous amount. Grr!" or "I just wish everyone had equal opportunity to enjoy basic comforts like adequate medicine, education, decent paying job as I do." or "Wouldn't it be nice if we actually took care of the land we have left?" or "It must've been really hard for my ancestors to have to adapt to immigrating to a new land and have to face all the racism" or "Ugh, why do people think it's their business what my love life is like?" and see what people have to say. Chances are my republican friends will 'like' it or something. And not even realize that I'm talking about pell grants, Universal Health Care, National Park protection, Obama's immigration policy, and gay marriage.

I honestly believe the Republicans probably do have some good ideas and points. But the rational, reasonable side now is being drowned out by the hateful, obama-is-a-nazi, tea-party idiots. And for that I kinda feel bad for the Republicans. At least the sane ones.

Chocowalla

Having a serious craving for chocowalla bars.

Fall Schedule

I am taking the least amount of classes I have ever taken before! Only 9 credit hours. I am actually pretty excited because hopefully with less classes there will be less stress and I can focus on working on my senior capstone project. My classes are History of Mexico, Spanish 2020 and Senior Seminar! I am really excited for History of Mexico. And look at how pretty the cover art of my history text book is.

200!

This is my 200th post! Congrats to me! :D

August

Two more weeks of summer classes, one week of vacation, and then 4 months of fall classes and then I graduate! It doesn't seem like I should be allowed to graduate, honestly! I think everything is lining up pretty well in terms of the bigger picture. Feeling very optimistic! In other news, I have started to go to a strength training class, and plan to take a cycling class in the fall. That combined with a schedule I have put together for exercise will hopefully pave the way to my ambition of running a half-marathon. :) And honestly, in a way, I would like to run a half-marathon, but more than that I want to be healthy and fit and confident!

Skyfall

Truth

It is hard to accept that love can not, in fact, solve everything.

Anxiety

I have been feeling a lot of up and down lately. From calm, content, and happy, feeling like everything is going to work out and be great and wonderful to anxious, frustrated, and furious and like everything is stupid and pointless.

Blah.

Favorite Couples

I usually don't really care about celebrities or their personal lives. But there are quite a few couples that I think are adorable and I like seeing. I don't go for the usual "Tom-Kat" or "Brangelina" or whatever stupid combo there are. The following are some of my favorite couples.

Alex Turner (The Arctic Monkeys) and Alexa Chung. (TV Presenter) 

Albert Hammond Jr. (The Strokes) and Agyness Deyn. (Model) 

Fabrizio Moretti (The Strokes and Little Joy) and Binki Shapiro (Little Joy)

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield (The Amazing Spiderman)

Sadly, Emma and Andrew are the only one of these couples that are still together. :( 

Who are your favorite couples?

Life Update + Goals Revisit

Summer is going by really fast and I am starting to realize that I haven't done most of the things that I want to do. Which means I have to pack in a lot! I am currently taking 1 class this second block of summer semester but because it is face-to-face it stresses me out a lot less than my online classes. It is also an entry level class so there aren't huge papers to write or anything. It IS a requirement for graduation though, so I can't take it too lightly.

1. Exercise more! Not doing so great. I need to really focus on this one. It would be best if I had an exercise buddy because I seriously have zero motivation. I want to do more cross-training than in the past. Maybe run/bike/yoga.

2. Eat better! I have done better at packing lunches for work, although not every day. I have been using a website called myfitnesspal.com and it helps out a lot with keeping under a certain amount of calories. I think this, combined with exercise will help me meet my weight goal. (I would be SO happy losing ~10 pounds, but if I could lose an additional 5 on top of that, I would be ecstatic. I don't know if this is manageable, but I know it is possible because I've been that weight before.)

3. Cook! Not much progess here. I really need to finish my project of copying down our family recipes onto recipe cards that I got for Easter. I think that will help motivate me. For one thing I could just randomly draw a card and make it for dinner. This way it can be sort of a challenge instead of a chore.

4. Spend less! I am sort of off and on with this. I have recently had like 5 dollars left in my account, but I just got back from a road trip that cost a lot in gas, and I also have a habit of spending money on other people. Because then somehow it is justified. I am working at not making unnecessary purchases and saving up. I also think I might need an additional job or a new job that pays more. For now I'll stay where I am because I need to get through the semester and a campus job is flexible with students.

5. Sew/Crochet! Okay, basically I haven't done any crocheting BUT I did sew 2 blankies recently for my friend's cats. So that counts, right? I have several projects with sewing.
A. I want to make a t-shirt blanket with all my old t-shirts from vacations or family reunions that I don't want to give to D.I. but that I don't fit in or is clogging up my closet.
B. I want to sew dresses and skirts because I want to sort of push my comfort zone of showing my legs. Haha, this sounds dumb, but I want to learn to accept that I have thunder calves.
C. I want to crochet little animals. My great grandma hill made me a little lamb and my mom still has the pattern. I want to make personalized animals. Also the site that I found has other super cool patterns like succulents and cacti.

6. Clean & Organize! I just cleaned and organized my room, but I want to go through my closet again and get rid of clothes I never wear. I also need to thin out my shoes and maybe also go through under my bed and window seat. Need to do the same in the bathroom as well.

7. Treehouse! Sort of feeling like this is a lost cause. It is way too hot to work out there. But maybe I'll have the kids across the street clean it up for like 5 bucks or something.

8. Garden! A little late for this. But maybe I'll start an indoor herb garden or something.

9. Reading! I am currently re-reading the Harry Potter series! And after that I'll maybe start on something I haven't read for a change!

10. Logic puzzles! I haven't made any. I should start that up again.

11. Document Life! I lost my camera in the San Diego Zoo. :( Until I get a new one this is on hold.

12. Communication! A lot of progress that comes with a lot of struggle. Definitely improved, though.

San Diego

San Diego was absolutely lovely. Pictures soon!

22!

From 21 to 22 has been the biggest, best, most life-changing year of my life!

The Avengers

DID NOT DISAPPOINT!

Sick

I can't tell if I'm sick because I don't feel well physically or if I feel sick because I don't feel well emotionally.

Upcoming Movies 2012

There are a lot of really great movies coming out this year and because I'm excited for them, I'm going to post the movies I am looking forward to most. The Avengers: May 4

Dark Shadows: May 11

Brave: June 22

The Amazing Spiderman: July 3

The Dark Knight Rises: July 20

Skyfall: November 9

The Hobbit: December 14

Finals

Are finally done!!! Now a couple weeks before summer semester. But at least all of my classes are online! (unless I didn't pass my Stats class. Cross your fingers!)

Voldemort Returns

Negative evil fermenting downward spiral of thoughts have officially returned.

Goals Revisit: April

I skipped a Goals update for March, but so far I have posted for January and February.

1. Exercise more!
We all know this one. I think the 1/2 marathon is off. I think it would be more rewarding to run a half marathon that I actually seriously trained for.

2. Eat better!
I want to pack my lunches. Eating out so much isn't helping with this goal.

3. Cook!
Not much progess here. For one thing the only meal that I would be home in order to cook is dinner. And by the time I get home I usually don't care enough. I hope this summer that can change.

4. Spend less!
Well. This is mixed. At one point I had 64 cents in my checking account. But I also feel that the things that I had bought that put me in that situation were out-of-the-ordinary purchases and may be excused. Other than a shopping spree at Target this past week, I am doing okay. Gas is the main killer of this goal.

5. Sew/Crochet!
I haven't done much of this since the last update.

6. Clean & Organize!
Did a huge clean out not long ago. Still feeling good about it. Maybe I should move on to the guest and sewing rooms when finals are over.

7. Treehouse!
I swear one of these weekends I'll get out there.

8. Garden!
Haven't done much for this, BUT for Easter I got radish and pea seeds. Perfect spring gift.

9. Reading!
FINALLY. A goal I have actually had progress on! I have now officially read The Hunger Games! I finished today and I have to say, I really like them. Now I want to see the movie. (Sorry Kiki about not being able to. I'm missing a movie/game night. Finals are killing me, but after would you be interested?)

10. Logic puzzles! I haven't made any, but I recently finished a bunch. Sooo, that counts for something, right?

11. Document Life!
More progress! I made that video for my little trip to Moab. It was a lot of fun. I want to make more.

12. Communication!
I think I'm getting better. Not sure. I think things are easier for me, at least.


So. This pretty much confirms my feelings of being lame. But everything will get easier after finals are over, I hope.

Wake Up Call

My best friend from high school is getting married and has asked me to be a bridesmaid. In January or sometime around then we went to get the bridesmaid dress fitted. It was perfect! It was a tiny bit tight but seeing as I had planned to run the half marathon I had thought that if anything I would lose weight and we would have to alter it a little bit down. I haven't really done great on running, and in fact don't really plan on running the entire race. Well, today I finally got it back and tried it on for fun.

Surprise, surprise. It doesn't fit.

I feel awful. My emotions are feelings of being pathetic and fat and stupid and ugly. These are all reactionary and snowballing emotions and I know that my self-worth is NOT dependent on my weight.

However I still struggle. I think part of what is hard to handle is that I knew I had gained some weight but I hadn't realized I had gained so much. I guess part of what hurts is that I knew I had gained weight, but because I don't really weigh myself on a regular basis I didn't have a sense of just how much. I feel like if I had just decided to get on a scale, I would have been sad and surprised by the increase, but I would have known that by stepping on the scale I was taking a risk of finding out something I didn't want to. Being completely surprised by it made it harder.

Sherlock

I found these on the interweb. I thought they were pretty awesome.

Moab 2012

Hurt

Sometimes things hurt most not when you least expect it, but when you completely expect it. When you know what the unwanted outcome of something will be, when you completely expect a let down, when you fully anticipate being disappointed, sometimes that hurts more. Because in the end, your dumb little brain holds some hope that maybe something will change or this time will be different.

:(

Costa Rica

Okay. I have a dilemma. There is a study abroad program through the Spanish Department to Costa Rica. I am torn about going. Here are the pros and cons:

PROS:

• It is $2,100 and covers food, housing, excursions and local transportation.
• I would be immersed in the language that I really really want to learn.
• I would also be immersed in the culture that I am studying.
• I could eat real homemade tortillas and beans EVERY DAY. (I can't tell you how much I miss real tortillas)

CONS:

• If I needed to take classes during the summer, I wouldn't be able to.
• I would miss a month's salary.
• I would be gone for my birthday.
• I would be gone for my sister's birthday.
• I would be gone for my one year anniversary with my boyfriend.
• I would be gone for my family reunion, where I get to see cousins that I only see once a year.

Irony.

Warning: This post may be offensive to some.

Read This


The church just released a statement in response to an accusation that it is racist. A spokesman stated "The Church's position is clear-we believe all people are God's children and are equal in His eyes and in the church."

My response? OH REALLY?

Okay, I know this article is about racism towards blacks, and I understand the importance of the priesthood being granted to blacks (well, the men, at least). And I don't mean to be THAT person, but I can't help it.

Because I happen to remember this little thing called Proposition 8, and I'm pretty damn sure that saying a certain portion of the population is not allowed to enjoy the right that the majority of the population are allowed, is pretty unequal to me. Saying that all people are equal in the eyes of the church is ridiculous. You OBVIOUSLY do not believe that.

I just hope that one day homophobia will be seen as shameful and bigoted as racism.
Okay, mini-rant over.

Goals Revisit

1. Exercise more!
I've been running for my half marathon, which means I've been running four times a week and hiking one day. I think that is fulfilling that goal so far.

2. Eat better!
Although running helps this, I still could improve. I have started to justify eating unhealthy food by saying I can eat it because I'm going to run later. But I need to be fueling my body with better things.

3. Cook!
Uh, I haven't done anything about this, haha. But I got these little recipe cards with quick recipes, so maybe I'll try to cook more. That will help with eating better and probably with my next goal, which is...

4. Spend less!
I have spent less money on needless chai tea or overpriced fruit leather from the union building on campus, but I should probably spend less money eating out. Other than that, carpooling with my mom helps.

5. Sew/Crochet!
Kiki! You have helped me with this one a lot! My goal is to have 3 dish rags by Valentine's Day. It will probably not happen with school, but that is what I would like.

6. Clean & Organize!
Okay! I am in the middle of this one. I just did a major rearranging of my room and now I want to go through everything and get rid of a TON of school notes and assignments that for some reason I have held onto. And go through my wardrobe (mainly shoes) and get rid of things I don't need.

7. Treehouse!
I can't really work on this one until the spring.

8. Garden!
Same problem.

9. Reading!
I think I'm going to wait until the semester is over for this one.

10. Logic puzzles! Finish my logic puzzle book. Minimum of 20 puzzles!
Well. I have 4. I haven't worked on them for a while, but 4 is better than 0!

11. Document Life!
I haven't done this at all. I'll think about starting sometime soon. Maybe I can take some time to videotape things on the weekends, if only by walking outside for a little bit and catching my surroundings.

12. Communication!
I think I am improving, but it is still a struggle. I am thinking of going to a counselor on campus and working on this. I know it will be a life-long effort.

10 weeks

10 weeks until the semester is over! 10 weeks until my half marathon!

Frustration

So. I bought a car not too long ago. I have a loan on it. The credit union and I agreed that we would have the loan payment each month come out of my payroll, since I work at the same place as the credit union is associated with.
I've been making extra payments on the loan, as well, just to get ahead and to gain some credit and pay less interest.
Well, I was looking at my loan today and I thought 'Something doesn't seem right.'

So I call the credit union, and they didn't complete setting up the payroll payment system. So not only have I been paying extra interest (it may only be like 10 bucks, who knows. I don't. but it is still annoying) BUT, I am not as far ahead as I thought. It doesn't exactly make me feel super confident that they not only said they would set it up and didn't do it correctly, but didn't even catch it.

SO frustrating. You know, if you're going to be dealing with people's money, you sure as hell better be doing your job right.

Oh boy.

I am typing up evaulations that concurrent enrollment students gave for their courses, and it seriously makes me worry.

1. There is a difference between "our" and "are".
2. There is a difference between "there" and "their".
3. There is a difference between "to" and "too".
4. The beginning of a sentence should be capitalized. So should the word "I" and any other proper noun.
5. Plurals don't have apostrophes. If you say "quiz's" it means something different than "quizzes".

These are just a few of the many horrifying errors I have found. It is driving me CRAZY.

New Blog!

Introducing yet another blog! I decided to make one for my training. It will probably be super monotonous, but oh well. :) Here it is:

www.tortoiseruns.blogspot.com

1/2 Marathon

Okay. So. Remember how one of my goals was to exercise more? Well. I've decided I'm going to run in the Salt Lake City 1/2 marathon! I'm nervous and excited and determined. And honestly the image in my mind that makes me look forward to it is seeing my best friend and family rooting me on. The longest I have ever ran has been 7 miles, a long time ago. (and it nearly killed me! haha) But I am determined. I have created a schedule that increases my minimum mileage every week by a mile. The longest I will run will be 12 miles (besides the 13.1 miles of the race). I have been making routes using Google Maps, and hopefully I can beg or bribe someone to bike alongside me. Eh? Eh???

2012 Goals

In full disclosure this post started out as me complaining about how I feel out of shape and I am worried about money and I feel like I ruin moments, etc. (Also, I spilled my chai and I'm out of my favorite flavor of Odwalla bars and I don't want to work on my homework)

Uhm...okay, I was going to say but look! I changed things around! I took negatives and made them into positives! But actually, I just complained anyway, but with less detail. So..That felt kind of good. But I'm still going to state my overdue goals!

A little late, but better than never I suppose! These are sort of ambitious, but they are things I can continuously work on.
(in no particular order)

1. Exercise more! Although I always feel like running makes me feel the most in shape, I need to integrate other activities like yoga, hiking, and biking.

2. Eat better!This sort of goes along with exercising. And usually once I start exercising, eating better comes along with it. Along with this, I need to remember to take my vitamins more regularly. I will need to work that into my routine. (maybe I'll make my google calendar remind me, since I check it almost every day)

3. Cook!I want to learn how to cook and bake. I want to be able to contribute once I am responsible for feeding more than myself. This will also help me eat better.

4. Spend less! Spend less money on things I don't need. Be more careful, and maybe even budget each month. It is okay to spend on things sometimes, but I don't need a chai every day, just because I walk past a Starbucks to class everyday. Cooking more and eating healthy will probably help me not spend money on food, which is the biggest thing I spend money on, other than gas maybe.

5. Sew/Crochet! I want to learn how to crochet. I also want to learn how to make clothing. I know you just follow a pattern, but it is something that always intimidates me. I have always enjoyed having an activity that I can do while watching a movie, all snuggled up. Plus I enjoy making people home-made gifts, and this will broaden my choices.

6. Clean & Organize! I want to go through my entire room and get rid of things that I never use and no longer need. This will include all of my old school junk, my wardrobe, my desk, etc. I also want to clean out under my bed and under the windowseat. If I'm feeling really ambitious maybe even the back storage room. I want to also organize all of our photos, my certificate binder that my grandma gave me so long ago, and my filing folder I got for Christmas.

7. Treehouse! I can't really work on this one until the spring. But I need to stain the treehouse. And I want to clean it out, and clean out the yard underneath it. I want to make a good gate that extends across the bridge so the cows don't eat my sugar peas and radishes (again). I also want to plant flowers. This leads me to my next goal:

8. Garden! I want a really good garden this year. I need to figure out where I can have it, because under the treehouse doesn't get enough sun for many of the plants I want to plant. I want to use my tire containers, too. I want a garden similar to the garden at the Nature Center. (hee, I love the garden at the Nature Center. I also love the habitat restoration specialist at the Nature Center!!!)

9. Reading! This has long been a goal of mine. I need to force myself to do this sometimes. I think it is hard when I read in school so much and then I don't want to read anything more. But I think if I read at least 2 books each month, by choice, that will be good. This will probably start after the semester ends.

10. Logic puzzles! Finish my logic puzzle book. Minimum of 20 puzzles!

11. Document Life! I want to make little movies constantly, just capturing little bits of life, like I did with my summer music video. Just continuously gathering footage. I think it will be fun.

12. Communication! This is sort of a seperation from the type of goals I have listed so far. I want and need to work on communicating better. It is something that I know is a problem, and for the health of all relationships, I need to do better. I think recognizing it the first step, but I need to not say that that is enough. I need to push myself to not keep things to myself. I have not yet identified if it is because of pride or fear (or both, I suppose) that I feel I can't express my feelings. But I need to figure that out. Because I don't want to hurt those I love.

Simon's Cat

That's Ballgame

I hate feeling guilty for expressing my own emotions. Why should I feel guilty for acknowledging my feelings? I think I feel guilty because it disrupts the peace. But what is the alternative? To keep it inside, keep the peace, until it boils up and over and the reaction seems disproportionate to the crime? I don't choose these emotions. And I try to keep them reasonable. But fact is fact, and I am sick of apologizing for something that I'm not sorry for. I'm sorry for the fact of the matter, but not for the emotions I feel. The emotions I feel is hurt. Why does my brain automatically add to that hurt by telling me I am ruining things? Or for feeling guilty because I've hurt someone's feelings, by informing them that they have hurt mine. I don't like that I feel like the bad guy or worse, needy and clingy. Why can't I? I get sick of going back and forth between feeling like I am justified, and then feeling like I am being ridiculous. I feel justified until I feel like I am making too much trouble, so I talk myself out of what I really feel. I rationalize until I convince myself that I'm being irrational or too harsh.But if these emotions occur over and over and over, am I still irrational, or does the pattern mean something more than just a phase? What do you do when you realize it's a pattern and not a phase?

2012

Happy New Year!