Body Image

There used to just be days. Certain bad days that I felt fat, insecure, and uncomfortable. But these would happen usually when I was stressed or hormonal, around my period. These days would stand out to me.

But over time those "fat days" became more and more frequent. And today I had the realization that every single day I feel that way. Now the days that stand out are the days that I don't feel fat. Basically never.

Difference

There is a difference between seeing a number on a scale and seeing pictures of myself that really throws my weight gain in my face.

Feeling very negative feelings. Anger, disappointment, insecurity, discouraged, stupid.

Dumb Day

Cold and sad and cranky and tired and stressed and hungry. Feeling really melancholy today. I just want all social and scholarly obligations to go away. I also want a hot bath, fuzzy socks, stretchy pants, a bowl of hot tomato soup and a grilled cheese sandwich, lots of blankies, the seventh Harry Potter, and everyone to be happy and content and super happy with everything I say and do and feel. I want everyone to stop draining my emotional energy and so I can stop feeling like I can't get things right.

Who I need is Kitty. :'(  Cats always are the best for melancholy days.