Oofta

A lot of stress has built/is building in our lives right now.

First, Justin had an interview at Weber State for a fantastic manager job. (Which he got!!!) But we are sort of still feeling the residual stress of travel and interviewing. Plus, there's a lot to learn for this job.

Second, our Mazda Wagon has had a lot of issues and we are going to take it to the dealership and hope for a good price. We're hoping to do that Friday.

Third, we are renting a car in the meantime, and that can be very expensive. We need to return it Friday.

Fourth, we found a car we want, but we have to take out a car loan and we have some reservations about it. We're going to do that on Friday.

Fifth, Justin's internship ends today and he has a lot of wrapping up to do there.

Sixth, no rest for the wicked, because the semester starts on Monday.

Seventh, our little guinea pig Xabi is rapidly losing weight, so we're taking him to the vet on Friday.

Eighth, there's a LOT of drama going on at my work recently. And it has been dragged out since mid-June.

Ninth, we are moving in 4 months and renting a moving truck is not inexpensive.

Tenth, my ear is still whooshing. It seems to be slightly better, but I dream of the day that I never hear it.


In conclusion, lots of things are going on, on Friday!

Thoughts

Change and Adapt

It is crazy to think that one year ago tomorrow, was when we rolled into Bloomington, Indiana after packing up and driving 3 days to move here for grad school. It has been a long, hard, stressful, maddening, fantastic journey. We have grown so much and I find myself quite content these days. We are in a good place and we have good friends (with the cutest baby ever).

It is strange to reflect on my well being 1 year ago compared to today. I feel that if we can do this, we can do anything.

And hey, time is going by fast and we'll be back soon! We'll pack up with the 3 little guinea pigs in the back of the car and go "whee, whee, whee!" all the way home.

Body Image

There used to just be days. Certain bad days that I felt fat, insecure, and uncomfortable. But these would happen usually when I was stressed or hormonal, around my period. These days would stand out to me.

But over time those "fat days" became more and more frequent. And today I had the realization that every single day I feel that way. Now the days that stand out are the days that I don't feel fat. Basically never.

School Deadlines

I am stuck. I feel unmotivated. I feel inadequate. I feel like I can't do this. I just want to graduate and never, ever, ever have another deadline again in my entire life. I hate this.

I just want to go to travel and never have to worry about time or money ever again. Not how life works. :(

August

Two more weeks of summer classes, one week of vacation, and then 4 months of fall classes and then I graduate! It doesn't seem like I should be allowed to graduate, honestly! I think everything is lining up pretty well in terms of the bigger picture. Feeling very optimistic! In other news, I have started to go to a strength training class, and plan to take a cycling class in the fall. That combined with a schedule I have put together for exercise will hopefully pave the way to my ambition of running a half-marathon. :) And honestly, in a way, I would like to run a half-marathon, but more than that I want to be healthy and fit and confident!

Goals

So, I didn't really make new year's resolutions. Well, I sort of did, but nothing "official" or anything. But I decided today that my new goal, for life in general, is to create the life that I want. I see other people, and I realize that I wish I had their life, or their confidence, or their house, or their clothes, and more worldly goods. But I decided firstly, I need to make sure I never stray from simple. Simplicity I think is a big key in happiness. Another thing that I want to work towards, is instead of wanting other people's lives, I want to want MY life. And in order to do that, I have to work to become the person I want to be, and create the life I want to lead. It seems basic, but if it were, I think there would be a lot more happy people in the world.

There are other normal type goals, and they are also important, but that is my main goal. Other goals are things like exercise, eating right, work to maintain my garden this spring, and to try to clean out the house/my room of things that I don't need, and donate them, and to get a job. Also, to try and read and write more, but with school, that can be sort of hard. That is why this summer, I am going to try to not sleep in so much, and to not stay up so late (out of all my goals, this seems the least attainable, to be honest!)

My main goal is going to be a constant struggle, I think, but the main thing is to always keep it on my mind. I always have trouble with making goals and maintaining them, mostly because I forget what I am striving towards, and I just fall back into my old ways. Wish me luck!