Harshness of Reality

Okay, so that is sort of a melodramatic title for this post, I'll admit. In this case, the harshness of reality is that my closet is too small for my materialistic desires. I'll admit the other harsh realities are less melodramatic, although I can't promise they aren't less materialistic.

I really just wish that my life would get moving. I feel like I am at a stand still, waiting for life to happen. But that is how I have felt for a long time. And maybe it is just because I still don't identify myself as an adult, but once I realize that there are plenty of MUCH MORE responsible and adult-like 20 year olds, it makes me think that I need to stop dragging my feet about life. And this isn't really about feeling like an adult. It is more about feeling like I am stuck in one place, and one time I am going to wake up and realize it is my fault. Which it is/would be. And I am trying to change this. But at the same time I also feel like there are certain things that are not within my control. (more or less, a boyfriend, a social circle. okay, so these things are SORT of in my control. but it isn't like I can snap my fingers and all of a sudden the cute guy in my class notices me, or like I can snap my fingers and have friends that aren't just friends because we have a class project together. it is easy for some people, but not me.)

It is not that I don't know these things aren't obtainable (whoa, triple negative), but that I just wish they would stop taking their sweet time. And I know that it takes a lot of effort and focus on my part in order to get my life to the point that I want it to, but it also feels like that would take a lot of risk and money and it won't even end up being exactly what I imagined in the first place. Okay so I lied about the other realities not being melodramatic. Uh, sorry.

Anyway, I also just want all my dreams to come true, and I know that only very, very, very lucky people get that. Or maybe just people who aren't idealist-bordering on perfectionists, and are okay with how things are. But I want my farm house. And I want my cheap cinema. And my cafe. And I want to be in shape and have really awesome clothes and the confidence to pull them off and to not be mistaken for a 16 year old. And I want money and a huge book and music collection, and to actually be motivated to do art regularly and to have direction in life. Mostly I just really want a bigger closet.

Kiki

Sometimes a somewhat aimless chat on MSN messenger can make a mediocre day much better. Thanks Chelsea for being a good friend, even miles away. =)

Ahh

Ticket to Ride, strawberry cake, magnet wars, dry-erase hand/ankle drawings, quick venture outside, and creepy experimental glow-stick pictures. this is a good start to the weekend! I am now looking forward to no first-aid class on Saturday, the Golden Globes on Sunday and no school on Monday!

New Semester

My new semester is:
-Spanish 1010 (I took Spanish in junior high and one semester in high school, but I a) was never really good at it in the first place, b) didn't really even like it in the first place, and c) have forgotton most of it anyway.

-Botany 1203:Plant Biology In high school I took AP Biology, and my favorite part was the very tiny section we studied on botany. I have taken a couple of botany classes so far, but they were more of the big picture, and I'm ready to learn more specific things about plants. I hope there isn't too much chemistry, though! yikes.

-Geography 1000: Natural Environments of Earth. This is the class that I think I won't like so much, but I have been kicking around the idea of a Botany Major, Geography Minor, so this is one of the requirements for both. Meh. Hopefully it will be better than my expectations.

-Recreation 4550:Outdoor Education, this looked interesting. And I think that if I pursue the botany idea, then maybe I could work at someplace like the Nature Center, or something, in which case, it would be good to have a class on teaching in the outdoors. I don't really want to be a teacher, but I think I could do presentations, and I dunno. It seemed fun. Hopefully it is.

-Health 1300: First Aid: Emergency Response. This is a strange sort of class. We only have two classes, both of which take all day. And one is at the very first saturday of the semester and one is at the end. I am assuming we learn what it is all about the first time, study like crazy in between, and then are tested on it the last time. I just figure these are good skills to have, no matter what. Plus, one of my biggest fears is being completely helpless in a situation that is out of my control, when there is something I could have done, if I had only had the knowledge or skill. (Plus, it filled the credits I needed, to be qualified as a full time student, hah)

I've been busy.

Since I last showed those outfits I designed on Polyvore, I've added quite a few. I was going to post them here, but then decided to just give the link, considering my post was about to take up the whole page! I'd really like some feedback, too. Tell me what you think, and which ones are your favorite. Also, if you have any ideas for a new outfit, since most of mine seem to sort of have themes, maybe I'll try to work on it!

Click here for my Polyvore profile.

Mexico!

This is the backside of the temple that my grandparents are serving their mission at.

There are bikes like this everywhere, and I really want one! I took this picture in hopes of replicating it with one of the old bikes we have laying around. It looks really simple, the main problem is the cart part. Still, I am sure it is do-able.


This is called a cenote, (seh-noh-tay). It is actually a large sink-hole. There are no lakes or rivers in this part of Mexico, except for these geological phenomenon. The edge around this is actually a shelf, because the water is under the land that I was standing on to take this picture. It is really shallow in one end, and then just drops very steep. This is on the site of a Maya ruin. On Sundays the Maya go there and swim. It is only open to the Maya, because it is their land, after all. This was at a site called Dzibilchaltun. (D'z'beel-chal-toon. The D, Z, B sound are all sort of smooshed together). Last time we were in Mexico, we went to Uxmal (Oosh-mall), which I really liked, except 1. It was super, ridiculously hot and muggy and I was sweating like a pig. And 2. It was overrun with tourists. At Dzibilchaltun, which is admittedly smaller, we were the ONLY ones there. It made it feel so much more serene and sort of MORE awe-inspiring, because you aren't distracted. Although it was really hot, it wasn't humid, which is the kind of heat that I don't do well in.
We also drove out to the coast. This is a little town called Telchac Puerto, where we ate lunch (superb food, that was really cheap and really delicious, and oh man, I really want deep fried plantain for the rest of my life.) This is a picture o fmy mom and my grandma out on the pier. This town was not very busy at all, and it is definitely not tourist, which is always obnoxious to get caught in.

This is the path to the temple at Dzibilcaltun. I will now let wikipedia talk:
The most famous structure is the Temple Of The Seven Dolls, so named because of seven small effigies found at the site when the temple was discovered under the ruins of a later temple pyramid by archaeologists in the 1950s. On the Spring equinox, the sun rises so that it shines directly through one window of the temple and out the other. The temple is connected to the rest of the site by a or "white road," so-called because they were originally coated with white limestone, built over stone-and-rubble fill.

So, there is a tiny little sample of our vacation here in Mexico! More pictures soon!

Sometimes...(2)

I feel like I need a better hiding place from the world.

Upcoming Movies

Now that I am (almost) done with school, I have been craving movies. I recently saw Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.1, and have been wanting to fill the hole that has been left by the lack of the instant Pt.2. These are upcoming movies that I want to go see.

The King's Speech

I love period movies. I love the british. I love history. Enough said, really.

The Eagle

Okay, I have mixed feelings about this one. I don't think it looks AMAZING, (although I've made that judgement before, and was very pleasantly surprised.) I am most interested because of Jamie Bell, haha. (also, I am hoping there is something 'The Thief'-ish about it.) AND, they travel to the Highlands of Scotland!

The Dark Knight Rises-(Potentially unofficial trailer. Can't quite tell.)

This kind of goes without saying.

Chronicles of Narnia


Okay. So maybe this movie should be too young for me. But wutevs.

Sometimes...

I feel like I can't trust anyone.

Disappointing Blizzard

Argh. The blizzard has let me down. I really wanted it to be bad enough that classes were canceled tomorrow and I wouldn't have to take my ethnobotany test. I don't think it will be closed. Oh well. Maybe it is better. It will get it out of the way for the rest of the weekend, which is going to be packed with homework anyway. Grr.