"Voices of Hope"

"No one wants to be alone for the rest of their lives, and no one should."

So, I recently had a friend come out on Facebook, and I think that is very brave. I completely support that. What I find disturbing is that he has decided that he has two options. To either stay LDS or to act on his "same-sex attraction". He has chosen the former. Therefore, he is openly gay, but will never act on it. He posted this video:



I found this disturbing, heart breaking and angering.

On one hand, I suppose it is a choice. And if people think choosing their religion over love will make them happier, then whatever. Do what you want. Do what makes you happiest, I suppose.

On the other hand, I can't help but question why. Does anyone actually really want to be celibate and alone for the rest of their lives? This isn't about sex. This is about feeling loved for who you are and finding within yourself love for someone else. And, miraculously, having that love returned. Ultimately, isn't that what we all want?

My anger comes from the fact that the LDS church, in it's twisted sense of progress, (which in some ways, IS progress...I guess...) is basically moving from active discrimination to passive (but still quite active) discrimination. The church is kind of an expert at passive aggressive bullshit, so this isn't new.

Ugh. It makes me really angry and sad and sick. If I believed in a God, (SHE!) wouldn't give a shit who I loved, but would just be happy that through love I found true happiness. I wish that people didn't try to force love into a convenient neat little box with parameters that defined what is true love.

I hope in 20, 15, 10 or maybe even 5 (as if) years, the church will open it's eyes and realize that they are behind the times. They are wrong and embarrassingly so. Although I don't think the LDS church has even a fraction of an ounce of humility to ever admit that they were wrong or have ever been wrong. In addition to being passive aggressive experts they happen to also be historical revisionists extraordinaire.

Blah. I guess in the end it isn't that bad. It isn't like it is forcing anyone to do anything. It is more tolerant than previous stances. And if it is genuinely making people happy, then okay, go for it. But I wish that it was 100% tolerance. Not conditional tolerance. It isn't acceptance, it is a bargain. If you don't act on it, we'll accept you. Otherwise, you are not welcome.

It just feels like the church was told "Be progressive" and because it is so twisted and crippled with guilt issues and old farts, it came up with this cruel definition of progress.

BBC Merlin!

In a land of myth and a time of magic, the fate of a great kingdom rests on the shoulders of a young man. His name? Merlin.

Body Image

There used to just be days. Certain bad days that I felt fat, insecure, and uncomfortable. But these would happen usually when I was stressed or hormonal, around my period. These days would stand out to me.

But over time those "fat days" became more and more frequent. And today I had the realization that every single day I feel that way. Now the days that stand out are the days that I don't feel fat. Basically never.