Fear

I have this bubbling anxiety about going to my family reunion this upcoming weekend. I should be happy and excited, and I am, especially to see my parents and sister. However the blanket emotion right now is anxiety. I feel anxiety because I have gained a lot of weight since moving away from home. I feel anxiety because I know it has to be really noticeable. Especially for people who haven't seen me in a long time. There are a lot of athletic, skinny people in my extended family, and that makes me feel like I stick out even more. Blah. It is strange because I looked at an entry I made in my exercise blog in March of 2013. I was frustrated because I hadn't lost very much weight. The weight I was at in March of 2013 was almost 20 pounds lighter than I am now. I guess the lesson of that story is that I have to be happy that I am currently not 20 pounds heavier than I am right now? Sigh. Dumb.